Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
