i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize