I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
