What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
