i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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