News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
