Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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