I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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