I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
