Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
