well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
