his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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