god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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