My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
