trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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