I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
