Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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