Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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