You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Still dying that you shit outside
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
