We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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