I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
