im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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