Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
