Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
