Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
