i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
