People in love make me want to vomit
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
