I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
