it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
