strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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