Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
