that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
