i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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