I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
