I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do vagina's smell?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
