How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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