I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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