I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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