Your tits are I can't wait for
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
