I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
