Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
