yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize