yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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