she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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