no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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