can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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