Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
