i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
