god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you never un-have a 4some
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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