Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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