God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize