I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
