Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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