Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
