we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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