I hope mine doesn't look like that
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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