Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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