How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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