He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
