how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
