I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
