Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
