if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Two words: blizzard sex
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
