So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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