Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
