My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
