that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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