It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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