I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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