he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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