WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
