I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
