I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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