how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i think i have two assholes
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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