i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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