We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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