my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
