Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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